PITTSBURGH - When Enzo the Baker came to pay his respects to the injured Ben Roethlisberger at Mercy Hospital last night, he found a highly agitated Michael Corleone frantically attempting to move the bed-ridden football hero to a secure location. “I was walking down the hall, carrying some flowers and a bag of sweets for Mr. Roethlisberger when Michael asked for my help,” said Enzo. “He said some men are on their way to kill our quarterback. He then urged me to work with him to quickly place Big Ben in a room where he would be safe from any would-be assassins.”
Enzo said that, according to Corleone, Roethlisberger was supposed to be under constant police guard, but a crooked police captain named McCloskey, working hand in glove with the party – or parties - responsible for the attempt on Mr. Roethlisberger’s life had sent them all home for the evening, leaving the fallen signal-caller unprotected. Pittsburgh Police Chief Dom Costa said he planned to speak to Captain McCloskey about the allegations made by Enzo the Baker later today.
When Enzo and Michael were satisfied Roethlisberger was out of harm's way, they left the building and, according to Enzo, affected a menacing posture on the front steps of the hospital to create a false impression that the beloved leader of the Super Bowl champions was impossible to reach. The reluctant, but heroic baker reported that a long black sedan was seen driving slowly past the hospital. “I definitely saw Oakland Raiders President Al Davis sitting in the back seat,” said Enzo. He later admitted that he was scared. “I was so nervous I couldn’t even light my cigarette. But Michael, in an obvious bit of foreshadowing, did it for me on the first try.” It is believed that Enzo’s unplanned yet gallant act satisfies the unspecified debt that he owed to Mr. Roethlisberger.
