MAYOR'S SPOKESMAN DENIES PUTTING POSITIVE SPIN ON O'CONNOR'S CONDITION PITTSBURGH - Mayor Bob O'Connor is incapacitated from the side-effects of chemotherapy and unable to muster the strength even to speak by phone with staff members at their weekly meeting. Nevertheless, according to Mayoral spokesman Dick Skrinjar, O'Connor is "fully in command" of the City of Pittsburgh.
With his customary assurance, Skrinjar bristled at allegations by this news source that he is putting a positive spin on the Mayor's condition. "The past couple of weeks, there have been plenty of times when I've seen the Mayor out cold," Skrinjar explained. "But even when he's totally unconscious, he routinely gives detailed directions to the department heads and is thoroughly briefed on issues of vital importance to Pittsburgh." Skrinjar held up a thick binder. "This is the revitalization plan for the entire City of Pittsburgh," he said. "Mayor O'Connor dictated it last night, two hours after he fell asleep."
Skrinjar minimized the effect that chemotherapy is having on the Mayor. "I'd go so far as to say that the chemotherapy has given the Mayor more stamina than he's ever had in his life," he explained. "It's been like an elixir for him. I wouldn't be surprised if he keeps taking it even after he's all better."
Skrinjar ended an impromptu press conference by emphatically assuring reporters that O'Connor's judgment and acumen are no different when he is unconscious than when he is awake.
