BASKETBALL CLOWNS HUMILIATED NATIONALS ONCE TOO OFTEN. "SWEET GEORGIA BROWN! WE'RE BECOMING THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES," CRIES GLOBETROTTERS' COACH.
New York - The hapless New York Nationals, the perennial patsies and "straight men" to the clown princes of basketball, the Harlem Globetrotters, had lost 5,742 consecutive exhibition games to the Globetrotters dating to the days when the Nationals were called the Washington Generals.
But three weeks ago in Boston, the Globetrotters' clowning finally got to the Nationals. "The Nationals snapped," cried a stunned Bradleys Roadhouse, coach of the Globetrotters. Each of the next twelve games have been humiliations for the Globetrotters, none more so than last Friday's debacle in St. Louis when the Nationals won by an astounding 138-24. Globetrotter fans openly wept as they left the arena. "Maybe we humiliated the Nationals a little too much and now it's payback time," conceded Roadhouse.
"Let's see how funny they are now," said Nationals' captain Pierre Knox after the game. "They were oh-so amusing when we were letting them win. Well, those days are over."
Throughout their win streak, the Nationals have insisted that the Globetrotters play by the rules - perhaps for the first time ever - and the Globetrotters' clowning has resulted in a record number of fouls.
But Roadhouse is indignant that the referees are, in his view, "manufacturing violations" just to beat the Globetrotters. "Damn it," he said, "they're making up words, like 'traveling,' and 'double-dribbling.' And since when is it against the rules for players to bring ladders and other mildly amusing props onto the court?"
Roadhouse admitted that his team is "alarmed" over rumors that New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is considering buying the Globetrotters. Steinbrenner has privately told friends he would "clean house" and would even bring in former Yankee Manager Billy Martin, who died in 1989, to coach. "Billy's the guy I turn to when things need fixed," Steinbrenner told one associate.
But what depresses Roadhouse most is that "this great team, which has brought joy to Popes and the common man alike by winning with humor, is becoming --" he can barely bring himself to utter the words -- "the Pittsburgh Pirates."
