LAW BREAKERS LURED TO LARGE BY TAX BREAKS "AND NO QUESTIONS ASKED" IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN TOWN'S "CLAIM TO FAME"LARGE, Pa - At the old Large Hotel, no one knows for sure how it started. But for as long as anyone can remember -- in fact, for better than 100 years -- this sleepy Pennsylvania hamlet, population 2,401, some 25 miles directly south of Pittsburgh just off PA Route 51, has made itself a refuge for criminals the world over. The name of the town is synonymous with offering sanctuary to law breakers. When TV news anchors report that a criminal is "at Large," what they mean is the town of Large, Pennsylvania, zip code 15025.
Large Mayor Bradleys Roadhouse explains: "Large offers many advantages to persons that most everybody else calls 'criminals.' We don't like that word. We like to call these folks 'legally challenged.' Among other things, we offer the legally challenged favorable tax breaks and, most important, no questions asked. Frankly, having these no-goods flock to our little corner of paradise is Large's claim to fame, kind of like cars are to Detroit, and we don't want to do anything that might upset that."
But some citizens see clear disadvantages to the policy of welcoming the worst elements of society. "For one thing, I'm in constant fear for my life," said resident Emil Tanaka. "How's that for a disadvantage? Murder, theft and rape are rampant here. No insurance company will insure me. We have the highest crime rate in the world. Do you want me to continue?" he asks.
But Mayor Roadhouse dismisses what he calls "the bellyaching" about the town's crime rate. "Look at it this way. Lots of folks in Pittsburgh used to complain about the smog. Well, one day they closed all the steel mills, and the smog went away. But guess what? Everybody would love to have that smog back because it would mean the mills would be reopened. The fact is, Large will have to put up with a little murder and rape if it wants to stay on the map."
