PRAGUE - The International Astronomical Union, the official arbiter of heavenly objects, decided last week that Pluto no longer qualifies as a planet, and that the Pittsburgh Pirates no longer qualify as a major league baseball team. Pluto, a planet since 1930, got the boot because it didn't meet one of the Union's new criteria for being a planet; specifically, that a planet must "clear the neighborhood around its orbit."
Likewise, the Pirates, in existence since the late 1800's, fail to meet "numerous established criteria for being a major league baseball team, including the ability to compete on at least a periodic basis with other underperforming teams."
Pirates General Manager Dave Littlefield issued a statement on behalf of the Pirates and Pluto. "Although the IAU's decision was disappointing, it is an unfortunate fact that small market teams, and small planets, have come to expect news of this nature. The IAU's announcement merely underscores the difficulty in having to play in the same league, and to rotate in the same solar system, as large teams and large planets such as the New York Yankees and Jupiter."
