MEXICANS ARE OUTRAGED, STILL REFER TO HURRICANE AS "JUAN"CABO SAN LUCAS - As hurricane force winds bore down on this Mexican resort town in Baja California, Mexicans say that they feel less devastated by Mother Nature than by the President of the United States, who insisted that the National Hurricane Center in Miami, which oversees all "catastrophic storms" across the globe, change the name of the storm from Hurricane "Juan" to Hurricane "John."
This is not the first such firestorm ignited by the President by insisting that Spanish words be translated into English. In a raucous press conference last April, he boldly declared that the beloved Mexican folk song La Cucaracha "ought to be sung in English." Upon making this pronouncement, the lights in the East Room dimmed and a lone spotlight illuminated the President. The President then softly sang an English translation of the familiar song:
"The cockroach, the cockroach
Now he can't go traveling
Because he doesn't have, because he lacks
Marijuana to smoke."
When he finished, Mr. Bush was barraged with angry questions from reporters. Some openly accused him of promoting racism. "You've got it all wrong," the President explained. "Look, so long as they sing it in English, I don't even care if they have a heavy Mexican accent. In fact, the accent would lend it some authentic, third-world charm." The President then spoke directly to Mexicans who are considering crossing the border illegally: "I want you to memorize these words from that great song I just sang: 'The cockroach, the cockroach, Now he can't go traveling.' What those words mean is, don't come traveling here, amigo. There ain't no marijuana here. ¿Comprende?"
