80th BIRTHDAY WISHES FOR ONE OF THE WORLD'S LONGEST-REIGNING DESPOTS

One of the world's longest-reigning despots is being feted this month for turning 80. He is beloved by his subjects, and equally reviled by countless detractors -- many of whom reside little more than one-hundred miles away and eagerly await the day he is gone. He shocked the world when he temporarily relinquished power this year while he was hospitalized, yet he refuses to permanently step down. Despite it all, we wish you a happy 80th birthday, Penn State's Joe Paterno!