WARNER BROTHERS PULLS ROADRUNNER-COYOTE-PROPHET MUHAMMAD CARTOON FROM RELEASE SCHEDULELOS ANGELES - The daily trade paper Variety is reporting that Warner Brothers Studio has decided to withhold the release of a cartoon short featuring the Road Runner, the Coyote and the Prophet Muhammad after it was poorly received by test audiences in Pakistan. Exit polling done by Warner Brothers employees at a downtown Karachi multiplex revealed that patrons “strongly objected” to a number of incidents within the cartoon, including but not limited to scenes depicting the Prophet sustaining an anvil blow to the head; being flattened by a steamroller; and repeatedly running into mountain-side paintings of tunnels drawn by the Roadrunner that were, in reality optical illusions. Reportedly, audiences were extremely agitated with the ending of the cartoon, which showed the Prophet falling off the side of a cliff, only to suffer an even greater indignity when a portion of the cliff became disengaged from the rest of the mountain and landed on top of a flimsy umbrella that a dazed Prophet attempted to use for defense.
According to a report submitted to the Warner Brothers' Marketing Department representatives at the theater, patrons exhibited a “high degree of dissatisfaction” with the product. They “manifested their displeasure” by “burning the theater to the ground and repeatedly stabbing the [theater] manager.” Worse, many vowed “never to view any product made or distributed by Warner Brothers Studios again.” An anonymous Warner Brothers' animation engineer expressed surprise at news of the dissatisfaction, noting that the Coyote "suffered almost as many hits as" the Prophet, and he is not Muslim.
An emergency meeting of Warner Brothers' shareholders was called for this morning. Warner CEO Jack Warner III is expected to offer a full apology for the cartoon, along with coupons redeemable for complimentary admissions and concession stand discounts to “any offended Pakistani viewer” who sends a letter, along with a copy of their ticket stub, to Warner Brothers Studio.
