"THE TROPHY IS A FORM OF TAXABLE REVENUE, AND THE CITY HAS TO GET ITS SHARE," SAYS OVERSIGHT BOARD CHAIRMAN JOHN MURRAYPITTSBURGH - The Pittsburgh Steelers came home today, to the capital of the Steeler Nation, where they were feted by tens of thousands of fans for bringing the Lombardi Trophy back to the Steel City for the first time in 26 years. There were so many Terrible Towels waving that Pittsburgh's Buhl Planetarium says it looked like an ocean of gold from the Hubble Telescope in outer space. Pittsburgh Police were helpless to stop the massive crowd from breaking through the barriers and spilling onto Fifth Avenue, forcing marching bands to proceed practically single-file. Jerome Bettis rode in the last car, clutching the Lombardi Trophy. When the parade reached Point State Park and a joyous round of fireworks exploded in the cold afternoon air, the champions were startled to see in the crowd the state-appointed oversight board that oversees all expenditures of the financially strapped city. Oversight Board Chairman Dr. John E. Murray approached Tommy Maddox, who was put in charge of guarding the Lombardi Trophy, and demanded that he hand it over. "They claimed that the [Lombardi] Trophy is a form of taxable revenue," explained a perturbed Coach Bill Cowher. Cowher yelled for Maddox to lateral the trophy to him, but Dr. Murray intercepted it. The giant crowd booed Maddox mightily. "Leave it to Maddox to blow the biggest play of the year," said one Steeler who asked not to be identified. The Oversight Board plans to sell the trophy on Ebay and take the City's share before handing over the remainder to the Steelers.
