MARCH

LOCAL MAN INCENSED THAT THE VERNAL EQUINOX ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE

PITTSBURGH - Carlo Sambonia is livid that the first week of spring felt more like December, with high temperatures barely reaching 40. The popular 33-year old outdoorsman, adventurer and local bon vivant is spearheading a petition drive to express his "extreme and palpable" displeasure. His goal is to obtain 400,000 signatures.

"I just think it's important for someone to speak out on this," he said. Sambonia is especially concerned that the younger generation is not properly educated about what spring used to be. "I tell every young person I come across, 'You should have seen the vernal equinox in the old days!'" Sambonia explained. "Back then, springtime would come roaring in as if somebody turned on a light switch, and it hit us like a wall of bliss." Sambonia said it is his wish that high temperatures in early spring be in the low '60's.