WASHINGTON -- The FDA has ordered a massive recall of mistletoe from store shelves and is urging consumers to remove the holiday aphrodisiac from doorways and other suspended locations until further notice. The agency determined that spores from mistletoe can drop onto the scalp, face and lips of persons standing underneath or in close proximity to it. "I don't want to scare anybody," said agency spokesperson Bradleys Roadhouse, "but necking under the mistletoe this holiday could literally be the kiss of death."
The source of the E. coli has been traced to reindeer manure in pastures surrounding a mistletoe field in Alaska. This discovery have led the FDA to also test the holly and Christmas trees which are grown on the same farm. Roadhouse explained, "We can't be too safe during the holiday. This is a season laden with tragedy, what with all of the dangerous toys and drunk drivers on the road, and now this. Merry Christmas, everyone."
