LONDON - In a last minute pre-season move, the Iranian government is on the verge of completing a complex deal that would send 15 British sailors they are holding captive to the New York Yankees in exchange for superstar Alex Rodriguez.
The Iranians reportedly are balking at A-Rod's $252 million contract, but feel it may be a bargain compared to a minor military skirmish with the British. Ali Larijani, secretary of Iran's Supreme National Security Council, told state television, "[Rodriguez] is only due to make $27 million this year and we could burn that in a few minutes once the shooting starts."
According to sources who asked not to be named, the Iranians will get A-Rod (pictured above arriving at Yankee offices for the trade talks) in exchange for the British hostages; the Yankees will trade the hostages to the Detroit Tigers for pitcher Jeremy Bonderman; the Tigers will release the hostages, who will be claimed off waivers by the British. In return, the Tigers will receive cash, scones and crumpets.
British Prime Minister Tony Blair thanked the Yankees and Tigers for their assistance in resolving the delicate diplomatic standoff. Blair asked: "A-Rod is really going to make $27 million this year?"