BOSTON - Fabled Boston Red Sox slugger Ted Williams' cryogenically preserved head has escaped from the facility where the late player's family was storing it. Reportedly, Williams' head had become belligerent and verbally abusive in recent weeks as it became increasingly unhappy the prospect of missing yet another baseball season. Williams' head talked an employee of Cranial-Pops, Inc., the storage facility, into taking it into the lobby to watch a couple of innings of the Red Sox season opener on TV. At that point, Williams' head overpowered the employee and escaped.

Williams' head appears to have cleared both US and Canadian customs and has made it's way to the cryogenically-friendly polar region where it is gaining weight on a diet of seal blubber and kelp.

The Williams family reportedly has hired the head of legendary TV detective Raymond Burr to track down and convince Williams' head to return.