NEIGHBORHOOD OF MAKE BELIEVE - King Friday XIII, who survived two assassination attempts and a lengthy battle with prostate cancer during the course of his forty years on the throne, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease today by his royal physician Dr. Bill Platypus.
The diagnosis confirms suspicions of castle insiders, who have been concerned about the King’s behavior for some time. “It is with great regret that I must inform the citizens of this Neighborhood that our beloved King Friday XIII is suffering from a mild form of dementia,” said Dr. Bill. “The disease is in its early stages, but it will ultimately rob his royal majesty of the ability to effectively rule this Neighborhood.”
Upon hearing the news, the King’s son, Prince Tuesday, seized power. “I have waited for lo these many years,” said the Prince. “At last I can take my rightful place in the realm of imaginary regents.”
The Prince issued a press release declaring martial law, ordering all neighborhood residents to stay inside their tree, factory, clock, museum-go-round and platypus hill until further notice. “Violators will be shot on sight,” he promised.
Long-time observers of the royal make-believe family are speculating that the Prince has imprisoned his mother, Queen Sarah Saturday, in an attempt to consolidate his reign. The Queen hasn’t been seen in public since attending the funeral of former Russian Prime Minister Boris Yeltsin last month.