WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An extensive ten-year study by the U. S. Department of Health has concluded the lifestyle of the average homeless person is far healthier than that of other Americans. The study measured cholesterol, hypertension, body fat, aerobic fitness and other key health factors. Without exception, the homeless had the better scores in every category.

“It’s not too surprising when you think about it,” reported National Heath Director Dr. Noah Swayne. “They’re active, they don’t eat a lot and they don’t have any worries. Speaking form a health perspective, we should all be so lucky.”

Swayne cautioned that people should not adopt what he called the Hobo Life Plan without first checking with their physician. “It would be dangerous for anyone to just go out and start eating what those [people] eat. It takes time to adjust to the diet.“

It didn’t take long after the release of this study for exercise giant, Curves, to announce it will immediately start installing machines that mimic pushing a shopping cart. It hopes to have one in all its locations by the end of the year. Weight Watchers is planning an entire line of frozen diet food made up of scraps and half-eaten meals.

The homeless man (pictured above) was asked if he was planning to become entrepreneurial and cash in the government’s finding. “What, me go to work, make money, live in a house? I value my health a lot more than that,” he said.