PITTSBURGH - Mayor Luke Ravenstahl announced this morning that legendary rock and roll guitarist Ike Turner has been named the city’s newest police commander. Mr. Turner is the former husband of the singer Tina Turner. “I know that Ike will do a great job in his new position,” said the Mayor. “Throughout his life, Ike has demonstrated a calm demeanor, an even temperament, and the ability to solve problems using creative, non-violent solutions.” The Mayor said he hoped the appointment of Mr. Turner would satisfy critics who complained last week following the promotions of three Pittsburgh police officers accused of domestic abuse. Ravenstahl denied that the Turner promotion was a hastily arranged move designed to placate his critics. “I have heard the voices of those citizens serving on the Review Board, and I have taken what I feel is appropriate action to assuage their concerns.”
In another, unrelated matter, Ravenstahl said he was deferring a final decision on the hiring of former NFL running back O.J. Simpson as a conflict mediation specialist until after the general election in November. “The demands of the campaign prevent me from giving Mr. Simpson’s application the kind of thorough review I usually give these matters,” said Ravenstahl. “I’ll have to take a long look at O.J.’s resume, as well as his body of work, before I make my decision.”
