In sharp contrast to the story coming out of PNC Park, the Pittsburgh Penguins' run of good fortune continues. After racking up several post season honors, resigning popular veterans, acquiring key free agents, and landing highly-rated draft prospects, the Penguins today announced they have agreed to terms with Jesus of Nazareth. Coaxed out of semi-retirement by the prospect of playing on a line with Sidney Crosby, the “Savior,” as he is known, felt that this was an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.

“Mario called me personally to talk about his plans for the future. And obviously, I’ve followed the team and believe in what Ray Shero and Michel Therrien are trying to do here,” he said. “I just feel that this is a team poised for glory and I want to be a part of it. Plus I have a chance to play with the greatest player in the world.”

A natural center with great hands, Jesus would be converted to left wing on Crosby’s line. He would also be expected to see time on special teams. Therrien could barely contain his joy.

“I mean, Jesus destroyed sin and overcame death,” the coach said. “I’m sure killing penalties won't be a problem.”

Jesus was asked about the age difference between him and his new center. “Well, it will be a challenge to keep up with him. But I think my experience can help him too. As long as he quits asking me to turn water into wine for him and Staal,” he joked.

Shero also sees Jesus fitting in well with Pittsburgh fans for his contributions both on and off the ice. "He kind of invented community involvement," Shero said. Terms of the deal were not immediately available, but Jesus was reportedly seeking a 2-year contract worth approximately $1.5 million.