PARIS - Long lost letters from Claude Monet to his tailor, Jacques Mendelbaum, revealed that the French impressionist considered his landmark work Garden at Sainte Adresse to be "a disaster."
"I stood by my canvas for 16 hours straight," wrote Monet, "waiting in vain for the bastards cluttering up the scene to leave. They did not, so I was forced to paint the damn thing with them in it."
Monet revealed that he gave "serious consideration" to murdering "the broads with the umbrellas" who refused to move. He also "came perilously close" to "dumping" the seated man wearing a hat "into the briny deep where, to my delight, his testicles would be devoured by sharks."
When a sailboat dropped anchor directly in front of him, Monet could stand no more, so he climbed atop the railing overlooking the sea and challenged the captain to a fight to the death. "Do you know who I am? I'm Claude f***ing Monet, foremost artist in the world! And you -- and these f***ing bastards decked out in the expensive clothes -- are ruining my art!"
Art historians say that the letters provide important context that explains the handwritten note Monet scrawled on the backside of the canvas: "Do not display -- trash!"