WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Hurricane Center is reporting that the remnants of Hurricane Dean will likely team up with Hurricane Jerry in the near future, creating a powerful one-two punch that will sweep through nightclubs up and down the Atlantic Coast, before veering West.
“We expect these two to go their separate ways over Hollywood, California,” said Mike Maloney, Director of the National Hurricane Center . “Our analysis indicates that once separation occurs, they won’t team up again for another quarter of a century.” Maloney said that would most likely occur in Las Vegas, probably during a Labor Day weekend. “The fact is we haven’t even honed the ten-day yet, so providing a twenty-five year forecast is fraught with pitfalls.”
According to Maloney, Hurricane Dean, who recently played the Yucatan Peninsula solo, will join Hurricane Jerry in the Catskill Mountains . “Jerry is going to bring a lot of energy to this pairing,” said Maloney. “But speculation continues over whether Dean or Jerry is the driving force.”
The historic merging of these two dynamic forces of nature is imminent. “Once they team up, they ’ll head right for Skinny D’Amato’s 500 Club in Philadelphia,” said Maloney. “And from there, it’s on to New York. We expect them to absolutely tear up the Copa and Twenty-One. Sherman Billingsley, your Stork Club is in line for a direct, and long-running hit.”
Anyone in the path of these tempests should brace themselves for enormous amounts of wind, especially from Jerry, and gales of laughter.