WVU RECLAIMS RANK AS #1 PARTY SCHOOL; CMU RETAINS RANK AS #1 PARTY POOPER SCHOOL

WEST VIRGINIA - "We reject our ranking, said West Virginia President David Hardesty, Jr., "because we believe the survey's flawed methodology overlooks the rigorous academic culture on our campus.”

"We accept our ranking," said Carnegie Mellon President Jared Cohon, "because we know our social life sucks."