SHARON, Pa. - Hans Georg Schultz, who has worked as a roads inspector for PennDot since immigrating to Pennsylvania from Germany in 1956, is appealing an order stripping him of his citizenship for being a Nazi prison camp guard. The Third U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals will hear the case on March 3rd. Mr. Schultz, who held the rank of Sergeant, is accused of participating in “acts of barbarism expressly prohibited by the Geneva Convention” during his time as second in command of Stalag Thirteen. “I know nothing about acts of barbarism,” said Mr. Schultz, before repeating the word ‘nothing’ in a loud voice for emphasis. He hastened to add that he knew nothing about Nazism, Adolph Hitler, Stalag Thirteen, or the highest ranking American officer held in the camp, Colonel Robert Hogan.
“I only know I have spent my entire life working to ensure that the people of this Commonwealth enjoy the finest roads in the nation.” However, Mr. Schultz declared that he “knew nothing” about potholes, the length of time needed to complete the Mon-Fayette Expressway, or the feasibility of tolling Interstate Eighty.
A spokesman for the U.S. attorney’s office involved in the prosecution of Mr. Schultz described the government’s case as airtight. “We have eyewitnesses who said they saw him beat a British POW named Newkirk to death with a shovel.” The spokesman expressed confidence that as soon as the prosecutors could get Schultz in a room with one of LeBeau’s homemade apple strudel, he would confess to everything.
