ONORATO WASTING AWAY, RESTAURANTS REFUSE TO SERVE HIM

Restaurants and bars have banded together to refuse to serve Dan Onorato because they blame him for the drink tax. Grocers and private citizens are honoring the boycott.

Onorato was spotted in back of a posh downtown steak house last night, rummaging through the trash for scraps.

Insiders say the gaunt County Executive could starve to death if the trend continues.

Onorato can’t understand the opposition to the tax. “Sure, at first people don’t like it, but it’s the only tax where the more people pay, the less they care.”