Washington , D.C. - President Bush has designated this Friday as a day of mourning to celebrate the life of noted character actor Allan Melvin. Mr. Melvin, whom President Bush dubbed a “national treasure” while presenting him with a Kennedy Center Lifetime Achievement Award earlier this year, died at his Brentwood, California home last Saturday.
Mr. Melvin achieved international stardom for originating the roles of Barney Hefner, Sergeant Hacker, and Sam the Butcher. Mr. Melvin’s body will lie in state in the Smithsonian Institution’s Museum of Popular Culture for twenty-four hours beginning Thursday morning. The White House press office also announced that the President has invoked a seldom-used power provided by the Omnibus Celebrity Act of 1978 that allows the executive branch to impose strict bans on media coverage of celebrities at the discretion of the president.
“In the wake of Mr. Melvin’s untimely passing, I am ordering MTV, the E Channel, Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, and the Hollywood Insider to cease and desist publication, broadcast, or dissemination of any information regarding Brittney Spears, or, to a lesser extent, her fertile younger sister Jaime Lynne, for a period of twenty-four hours beginning at 12:01 a.m. Friday, so that the American people can give maximum attention to the memory of Allan Melvin.”
Attorneys for the aforementioned entertainment outlets filed an emergency appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court asking for review, but late yesterday Chief Justice Roberts issued an order denying their request.
