PITTSBURGH - Mayor Luke Ravenstahl signed emergency legislation this morning authorizing the construction of a mausoleum for the body of legendary Steelers color commentator Myron Cope. Mr. Cope died Wednesday morning after a long bout with pneumonia. “There’s this guy I saw over in Russia who’s supposed to be a big deal, and they did the same thing for him,” said Ravenstahl. The Mayor’s press secretary quickly interrupted to inform reporters the Mayor was referring to V.I. Lenin, founder of the Soviet state and scourge of reactionaries around the globe. “Yeah, that guy,” said Ravenstahl.The Mayor said he hoped the Mausoleum, which will be located between the new Del Monte Building and Heinz Field, would be completed in time for the 2008 NFL draft. City planners are currently reviewing the design to make sure the facility is built with proper attention to detail and aesthetics. “We don’t want to compromise the integrity, or the beauty of the area. Believe me, the last thing I need now is another hassle with the River Life Task Force.” Construction of the Myron Mausoleum is scheduled to begin next week. Ravenstahl said he hoped the opportunity to view the embalmed remains of a beloved broadcasting icon with strong ties to our local professional football franchise would attract millions of fans, and, in turn, generate millions of dollars in revenue for the city. “I see this as the crown jewel of all North Shore destinations,” he said, before adding “and that’s no Gorgonzola.”
