10. Write unwarranted, irate letters to citizens
9. Write unwarranted, irate letters to the editor
8. Polish innumerable diplomas
7. Remind coroner to mention innumerable diplomas6. Remind coroner to fake smile on national TV
5. Concoct bizarre Nazi analogies for anti-Semitism claims
4. Keep all mirrors in the office nice and clean
3. Scour thesaurus for really big words
2. Oversee Jon Benet Ramsey memorabilia
1. Peddle alien autopsy service in Intergalactic Pennysaver
