(New York) - A smiling Eliot Spitzer greeted reporters at the entrance to his Manhattan residence this morning and proudly announced that he has gone four months without using the services of a prostitute. Mr. Spitzer was flanked by his wife, Silda. “I am happy to state that at this point in my recovery, I am totally hooker-free.” Mr. Spitzer, who resigned as Governor of New York following revelations that he engaged in a series of pay-for-sex trysts at the Mayflower Hotel with a woman named Ashley Dupre, said he now realizes the sordid activities he participated in weren’t his fault.
“I have a serious illness, and that illness frequently compels me to engage in depraved sexual acts with a woman who isn’t my wife.” Mr. Spitzer said the first part of the healing process was accepting the fact that he was a victim. “I just didn’t want to believe it. I’m a normal, healthy, middle-aged American male with a successful law practice, Governor of the Empire State , a great future in politics. How could this happen to me? How do I come down with something that makes me want to shack up with a woman half my age, a woman who does sick, twisted, amazing things that would make the hair on Hugh Hefner’s back stand at attention?” he asked.
Mr. Spitzer said only after circumstances forced him to accept the fact that he was afflicted with an insidious disease could he give the matter serious reflection. “It took some time, but I’ve finally forgiven myself.”