Dear Judge: I have an embarrassing problem and need to keep this confidential. I’m 20-years-old, and play in a sports league. Recently my teammates and I decided to grow beards for reasons I won’t get into. After two months, mine still has patches galore and looks like peach fuzz. I am so embarrassed. Help!
Sid, Nova Scotia
Dear Sid: I get letters from boys just like you all the time wondering if they’re normal. As you become a man, your body experiences many wonderful changes. It’s an exciting time in a boy’s life. Not all boys develop at the same pace, but we all end up in the same place at the end. Remember: Lincoln, Hemingway, the Smith Brothers, Jerry Garcia, ZZ Top -- they were all boys once, but look at their beards today! So, yes, Sid, I’d say you’re quite normal. Just stop trying to grow up too fast!
Dear Judge: I fear my boss is too hard on my co-worker. Most days, she just sits at her desk sobbing. What do you think?
Dear Bob: Your co-worker is hurting for an entirely different reason, trust me. The next time she goes to lunch, check her chair. In all likelihood, she’s sitting on some shards of glass or thumbtacks. Virtually all employee discontent is caused by such things.
To Michael, New York: While you’re at the baptism with all those witnesses, have your men settle all family business with the heads of the five families.