PITTSBURGH - Pittsburgh Police responded to multiple complaints about a raucous fraternity party in Oakland last night by raiding Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity house at the University of Pittsburgh, but they made no arrests because they quickly discovered it was Mayor Luke Ravenstahl's inaugural ball.Embarrassed police captain Vic Cianca explained: "It's a frat house, and it looked like a bunch of college kids carrying on like idiots. How were we supposed to know it was the mayor's [inaugural] ball? We're not accustomed to quite this level of debauchery from our mayors."
Cianca said that upon entering the house, police discovered "scores of drunken, underage" persons passed out and partially or, in some cases, fully unclad, sometimes one atop the other. Deafening music blared throughout the house. The smell of vomit that permeated the neighborhood had its epicenter in the living room.
Mayor Ravenstahl was partying with four female undergrads most of the evening. The mayor said that the young women "were helping me cram for a budget hearing." He winked, "We'll probably have to pull an all-nighter." Ravenstahl claimed the process was so intense he had to remove his shirt, and later other clothing.
Former mayor Tom Murphy attended the ball and he, too, was shirtless. Murphy was off in a corner by himself the entire evening.
Ironically on the same evening, the police blotter showed a raid on the Manor Theater in Squirrel Hill where the laughter of former mayor Sophie Masloff and several elderly lady friends reached "unacceptable decibel levels" due to the zany antics of 70-year old Woody Allen in his latest film, Scoop. Two of Ms. Masloff's companions got so carried away they removed their dresses and had to be arrested.
