HOLLYWOOD - The trade paper Variety reported today that an overwhelming number of television critics have panned the most recent episode of the hit Fox Television series 24. Last week's show ended with Jack Bauer bounding into the kitchen, preparing to make breakfast. As this week's episode begins, Bauer slices his finger trying to open a can of tomato juice. For the better part of three minutes, Bauer curses and shouts and finally stanches the bleeding with a dish towel. A quick phone call to CIA headquarters ends with the Director of Intelligence shouting at Bauer to "get that damn thing stitched. Time's a wasting." Bauer is then shown driving to Cedar-Sinai Hospital, sitting through red lights and construction zone delays. At the hospital, for the duration of the program, Bauer is shown in real time filling out insurance forms, reading six month-old magazines, watching cable television and staring at the ground to avoid eye contact with other waiting room patients. "This is the worst episode since Bauer had to renew his driver's license at the Department of Motor Vehicles in the first season," grumbled Tom Shales of the Washington Post. A Fox spokesman said that "people understand that sometimes -- not often, but sometimes -- there are moments in an ordinary day when dramatic things aren't happening." He declined to comment on reports that next season's show will deal entirely with Jack Bauer attempting to complete and file his Federal Income Tax return before the midnight deadline.
