THE HEISMAN IS EXPRESSLY LISTED ON THE FAA'S LIST OF FORBIDDEN ITEMS, ALONG WITH KNIVES AND SHAMPOOCOLUMBUS, Ohio - Marion Blakey, Administrator of the Federal Aviation Administration defended the decision to ban Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith's Heisman Trophy from a plane Tuesday. The trophy was shipped to Smith's home after airport security refused to allow it on board with Smith.
The Heisman Trophy is expressly included on the FAA's list of forbidden items, along with knives, ice picks and shampoo. Blakey explained the prohibition in a press conference. "I think you will all recall that Mohamed Atta al-Sayed, one of the 9-11 terrorists, was the 1997 winner of the Heisman Trophy for Penn State." Reporters exchanged confused glances, and one whispered to another, "That's not right." Blakey continued: "It is well-known that al-Sayed wielded the bronze trophy as an instrument of terror to bludgeon passengers on Flight 11 before he crashed it into the north tower of the World Trade Center. Moreover, we all know that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi won the Heisman for Alabama in 1993 and used the trophy to perform unspeakable acts of cruelty. The list goes on and on."
Blakey went to great lengths to note that the FAA has no reason to suspect Smith of being a terrorist "but," she looked around the room furtively, "you never know."
